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George the Murderer

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EARLY AMBITIONS
The Humble Beginnings of Mass Murderer George W Bush
Ever since I was a small boy growing up in Texas I wanted to be a murderer. I told my momma when I was just six years old and she burst into tears and said I couldn’t be a murderer because it was against the rules and they put people in jail for doing stuff like that. But then my daddy said it was ok to be a murderer as long as I was smart about it and as a matter of fact he was a murderer and he wasn’t in jail. So I said I wanted to be smart murderer like daddy and momma breathed a sigh of relief and gave me a big hug and everybody made a big fuss over me and said it was so cute how I wanted to be a murderer just like my daddy.

 

THE DREAM STARTS TO SLIP AWAY
George The Murderer Starts To Lose Hope.
After I missed out on killing any gooks my daddy said my best hope to be a smart murderer now was to join the C.I.A. but even though he was a real important person there they said they didn’t want me on account of I wasn’t smart enough. After that I started to get real depressed for a while because I thought maybe I would never get to kill anybody at all and it was all I had ever wanted to do since a was a small boy. It was at this time that I begun to turn to things like alcohol , cocaine and self manipulation to take my mind off things. This was my darkest hour. . . .

MY BIG BREAK
Will George Bush kill After all?
. . . . .but you know, it’s always darkest before the dawn, and guess what folks in 1988 my daddy got elected President of The United States Of America. Momma said there was going to be plenty of opportunities around for everybody now, and daddy said why don’t you try getting into politics yourself George. So in 1995 I finally got sworn in as the supreme governor of the state of Texas.

GOVERNOR DUBYA
Little George W. Bush Kills At Last.
Just two weeks later at the age of 49 I finally committed my first proper murder which all goes to show that if you have a dream and you believe it in your heart is doesn’t matter if you’re an alcoholic and a wastrel and you aren’t very smart because with hard work and patience you can still turn things around and fulfil your dreams, especially if your daddy is the president.Now that I was finally off the mark I quickly began to make up the lost ground from all those wasted years. These were wonderful times for me and I fully appreciated the thrill of each murder I committed. However there are a few which stand out in the memory as having been particularly fun.

KARLA FAYE TUCKER
Bush Kills Karla Faye Tucker- And laughs about it.
The sad thing about being governor is that you don’t actually get to give the injection yourself, so you miss out on all the personal stuff like looking into their eyes and having them plead with you for mercy. So it was a special treat for me when I got to see Karla on the Larry King show and he asked her “what would you say to governor bush” and she looked up into the camera and said “Pleeese governor bush, don’t kill me” Me and Laura laughed so hard we dam near pissed ourselves. That night we had the best sex we’d had in years. One of us only had to say “pleeeese don’t kill me” we’d crack up laughing all over agin. But later on, after I murdered Karla, I did my impression in an interview and people beat up on me and said it was bad taste to make fun out of somebody after you’d killed them. Personally I think they is just jealous ‘cause they don’t get to be governor and kill people.

TERRY WASHINGTON
George W. Bush Kills A Retarded Man
More than anything else I had always wanted to murder a child. Unfortunately the state of Texas does not make provision for this. It was particularly satisfying then on the 6th of May 1997 to sign the death warrant for Terry Washington who had the mental age of a seven year old, as this felt like the next best thing.

THE INNOCENTS
George Bush kills innocents at last.
While my numbers were beginning to look very favourable as compared to people like Ted Bundy Charles Mansion and John Wayne Gacy, for example, there was always the nagging doubt in the back of my mind that maybe my killings weren’t worth as many points as theirs on account of a lot of the people I was killing back then were guilty of serious crimes. It was always nice, therefore, when I knew there were a few doubts about a prisoner’s guilt as there often were. But the cases I was MOST proud of were the one’s where I was absolutely sure in my own mind that the accused prisoner could not possibly have committed the crime, these were:

Troy Farris, Frank Basil McFarland, Jerry Lee Hogue, Richard Wayne Jones, Gary Graham and David Spence

By the time these clemency requests arrived on my desk overwhelming new evidence had emerged that the original guilty verdicts had been faulty.

A VISION
Mass Murderer George W. Bush- A Dream
In the early days as governor of Texas putting to death the occasional prisoner was big enough of a kick for me, but before long I dreaming of greater glories. I saw rivers of blood gushing forth from my hands. I saw schools and hospitals destroyed, cities blighted, nations vanquished. I saw mothers lying wounded in the street as their children bled to death before their eyes. I saw the future and it was beautiful.
After consulting with my legal people I found out this wasn’t going to be possible as governor of Texas. It was time to move on.

A NATIONAL RECORD
Serial Killer George Bush Becomes A Champion
All in all being governor of Texas turned out to be one big party. I had so much fun my little brother Jeb said he wanted to be a murderer too and he became governor of Florida. I finally stood down on December 21 2000. In just six fabulous years I had murdered 151 people, more than any other governor in the history of the United States of America, but all that was about to pale into insignificance.

THE LITTLE BOY MADE GOOD
Mass Murderer George Bush - A reality at last.
On 20 January 2001 I took office as president of the United States of America. That’s right folks. The little boy in Texas who wanted to be a murderer has come and awful long way. Since that time my record speaks for itself. On 9/11 2001 I killed over 3000 Dick says there's some stuff we're not allowed to talk about for some reason, but I can say that I have now murdered over 3,000 United States Soldiers , 13,000 Afghans and 600,000 Iraqi’s that’s right folks, count them, and I ain’t done yet. Ted Bundy eat your heart out.